Plenty of courses and workshops preceded the establishment of Heart to heart, so we can offer a wide range of techniques. However, there are some themes where we can offer just that little bit more expertise, because they are linked to our personal process that we have lived through over the years, with ups and downs. This means these themes have a multidisciplinary approach that has been developed with more background and feeling.
We have also been able to determine that our method provides answers.
It’s common knowledge that the first years of your life play a decisive role in your path of life. But traumas you experienced before being born can also have a very important yet relatively unknown impact.
The theme of the lone twin is a personal theme for me and has been an ongoing quest for years. It was only when it became clear that I hadn’t been alone in the womb that my endless search to those others was framed bit by bit. Through various programmes and courses, I gained more insight into how to approach this reality... and no, not all possibilities offered felt right to me. This taught me to become very perceptive to what is required, both for yourself as for the person(s) who was/were with you before birth. Because, only by acknowledging this/these other(s) and by really giving them a place, peace and balance are brought into your life. This unique process has its own time sequence that must be respected. Being guided in this and experiencing support, love and connection during this process allows you to really live through it and reach wholeness.
The first bonds we enter into in our lives; those with our mother and father, have a profound effect on how we feel (subconsciously) and how we view life.
During our first two years of life, the bond with our mother is a symbiotic one: there is no distinction between the two in the baby’s mind. This infers that the mother’s wellbeing has considerable impact on the baby’s wellbeing. It is the manner in which the mother regards herself and is mindful of herself that plays an important role in how the child perceives itself and how it will learn to take care of itself. After the first two years of life, the focus shifts from the mother to the father: he is the person who will teach us how to form and maintain relationships with others. We carry the imprint of our first years with us, consciously as well as subconsciously.
If you wish to have a strong stance in life, want to claim your own space and live your life your way, it is important to have the courage to look at what your parents gave you during your early years. Don’t forget that your parents also inherited their imprint from their own parents, your grandparents. Acknowledging this reality and accepting the fact that your parents couldn’t give you what they never received themselves is liberating.
Healing this injury is essential to gain balance and to occupy your own unique strength.
Education is a theme very close to my heart. Personally, I have quite some teaching experience: first as a language teacher in Belgium and abroad, and a few years ago I decided to pass my certificate of pedagogic competency in order to have a solid foundation for my desire to motivate young adolescents.
My experiences in education have taught me that there is much goodwill... while sometimes the broader insights and methodologies are lagging. In order to add ‘something’ to education, I followed the educational specialisation of the family constellation programme. I was surprised about how few of the insights known for years had trickled down to education as well as the teacher training... which was little to none. This was absolutely not an item during my recent training.
However, I feel that education is a crucial element... ‘make or break’ as I call it, because teachers often have enormous influence on pupils, whether they are aware of it or not. Via the systemic educational constellations, I also realised that a class often has a task towards the teacher: by showing him or her what is not present in their own family system. Depicting the school as an organisation also allows for insight to be gained into how the various actors relate to one another. Very interesting topic, but unfortunately not enough is known about it yet, or too little openness exists to utilise it.
Receiving guidance for educational themes can involve many varied topics: from determining why a pupil is not interested in a certain subject to examining why a teacher has difficulties with a certain class, to... But even so, all guidance related to educational themes eventually ensures that peace and balance are created: in the pupil, the class, the teacher, the teaching team, the school...
The theme of communication has been a faithful ally for a very long time. Ever since I was a child, I was fascinated by how messages are communicated and the importance of politeness in actions and use of language. My interest shifted over the years, from communication by authorities to assertive communication and communication as a need and requirement. As an NT2 teacher, I taught my students that nuances in language and a form of customer-friendliness (which can also be put to use outside of the business world) can open doors. This approach was perceived as very positive by colleague teachers.
The theme of communication became more personal when I was rendered unable to communicate fluently as a result of an illness: the words came but I had trouble pronouncing them, while my body did not function as it should, so I couldn’t gesticulate either. The fact that I had to make an effort in everything I wanted to say just to pronounce the words ensured that I became very consciously selective of the things I said. It was an intense lesson in active listening and not reacting immediately. It taught me to frame what was being said, to regard this in a broader sense and to search for the message behind the message.
Communication is important because we are constantly doing it, even when we think we are not. The horses can be astounding guides in this, as they perceive the subconscious communication from our bodies and react appropriately. By communicating with the horses, you will become more aware of the signals you give off. This enables you to develop a way of communicating and acting that balances your conscious and subconscious. It reinforces your communication and you will notice that your message comes across in a much more concise and powerful manner.
Just as humans grow throughout life, organisations also grow over time. Organisations often change during their growth process: certain departments change structure, disappear or a new/different focus is applied. When this happens without acknowledgement of the previous structure or past organisation, friction often occurs that seems difficult to explain at first glance.
Heart to heart also grew from a different organisation. Compared to the other organisation, Heart to heart is broader, both in terms of provision and target group. There are a few new accents, although the core of what we offer - loving support through horses - is something that was also the central pillar in my previous organisation. It is crucial to see these links and to acknowledge them accordingly: without my past project that I closed down I wouldn’t have started Heart to heart now. Seeing and acknowledging this fact is very important within the context of organisational constellations.
When your organisation takes on a new form, or if new accents are added, it is important to examine what the ‘old’ form still needs to feel entirely recognised and give its approval for the changes, as it were. It follows from this that as an organisation you must have openness to effectively start working with the information that flows from an organisational system constellation. The effective implementation of what is needed contributes to increased changes of success for your new project.